Spiritual work for a more beautiful world
It seems a bit silly sharing this, but after 8 months away from this page it seems incongruous to simply start posting again without addressing the absence.
Have you ever felt a calling from somewhere deep inside you? I have, countless times. Oftentimes I’ve followed it – it’s led me on great adventures, travelling the world and living overseas, and also to some beautiful romances, including with my current partner who I adore. Other times though, I’ve also ignored this voice. Ignoring it comes with a cost because it never really goes away, it stays there like a constant reminder of what you know you must be doing and yet are refusing to do.
I spent many years afraid to share my real voice, to use language and terms that matter to me. My work has always been spiritual in nature, and although I’ve skirted around it, I’ve also been terrified to say this. To publicly use words like God or The Universe, or to express my belief in our fundamental goodness or the radical power of love filled me with anxiety. I was afraid that as soon as I spoke of a deeper way, of a relationship we can cultivate with something larger than ourselves, of its role (life’s role?) in changemaking, that I would be discredited or my work de-valued.
Many years ago, in my formative teenage years, I had (more than a couple) of stints in a psych ward. It’s still hard to explain what led me there, but my rage was so all-consuming at that time that I couldn’t see beyond it, and I was, by well-meaning people, often told I was crazy or not normal, that my perception must be warped. I internalised this message that there is something wrong with me, and that to see the world in a different way was dangerous, and risked a deep rejection.
It’s been 15 years since this time I am still deeply afraid of being seen as crazy. Embracing more spiritual work has meant facing this fear. It’s also meant facing the fear that I may not be ‘good enough’, and having the audacity to go beyond the doubts of “who am I to do this work?”, to teach when I have so much still to learn.
And so here I am.
This blog, this page, and the courses and work to follow, are lessons I have learnt and am often still learning. I do not profess to be perfect, but I do strive to be a living example of the work I create and teach.
I believe that humanity is at a choice-point. We have a choice where we collectively go from here. We can face our pain, our trauma, our fears, our grief, our power and our privilege, and reckon with the uncomfortableness it demands, to move toward a future that is bolder, more beautiful and more whole.
Or, we can sit in the (dis)comfort of living as we are, ignoring the warning signs given to us every day. We may delay the inevitable, we may avoid the sharp pains of un-numbing ourselves to our past and present, but the dull, monotonous ache of ignoring life’s callings will continue, and the numbness will be sure to snub our joy and wonder before it does our pain.
The choice is ours – and I mean that, for you, personally, reading this. This choice-point isn’t just a collective decision that we have no power in, no agency over. We make this decision in our own lives every day. Each one of us is a piece in a jigsaw puzzle, and what we do matters. How we live, how we honour that which is inside us, how willingly we listen, how truthfully we face reality…the choice is always ours.
I am an activist and changemaker. I believe firmly in the power of civil disobedience, non-violence and protest. And yet I also know that the transformative change we seek will not just come from a change in policy or Government, but rather requires of us a radical change of being, a reconnection to our hearts and to each other.
This page, this work, is spiritual work for a more beautiful world.
I hope this work and the tools you will soon find are useful.
Laura
PS: Questions, feedback and topics for discussion can be sent to me through socials and here